It's time.

Starting tomorrow I'm taking my physical health into my own hands. For three days I will be doing a juice cleanse and after that I will be re-starting the IC diet. I will be VERY strict on this diet. Not only do I hope that this will help relieve some of the pain I've been having from intermittent flares, I'm hoping that I'll be able to shed those last few pounds I've been holding on to since V's birth.

I've been feeling ok since the surgery. The pain isn't gone, but the other symptoms have improved some. I was recently approved for botox injections in the muscles of my pelvic floor to help with the spasms. The first round of botox began three days ago, on Friday the 13th. We won't know if it is going to do any good for at least three weeks, but if it does help at all the pain should be remedied for a few months, at least.

On top of continually managing my health I'm getting ready for my first gig as an Assistant Director for Jewish Theatre Grand Rapids! I'm very excited and very nervous at the same time.

This is just a quick update on my general well-being. I hope to blog more often; there's been a lot going on in the world that I have very strong opinions about. I'll also be updating my other blog, MommaHeather, more often as well.

If I begin to slack, kick me in the bum. ;)

There's nothing witty this late at night.

On December 13, 2011, I had surgery to fix a vaginal floor prolapse and to have a hysterectomy.  I was excited for the fixes because they are ultimately supposed to help relieve a lot of my pain.

My doctor did tell me from the start that my pain may increase for a short while after the surgery, so we decided we would deal with that on a day to day basis. My recovery wasn't awful, and the pain was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I was laid up for a good 6 weeks with the help of Dave and the girls. And Skyrim.

I knew these were the best options for me considering the condition I was in. I didn't plan on having any more children, so I asked that they perform a hysterectomy as well. While I STILL feel that it was the right decision for me as part of my care and pain management, I do find that I get a little nostalgic and a wee bit regretful when I see everyone around me having babies. I'm happy for them, no question there. It just causes a sort of "internal mourning" I suppose.

Maybe I can articulate this at an earlier hour sometime. Or, maybe not. We will just have to see what comes up.

Wii Fit Plus.

First of all, I'd like to say that the Wii Fit Plus is quite the asshole. First, it made my Mii FAT. Next, it told me that I have the body of a 44 year old. I'm not even sure what that means! Lastly, it groans when you get onto the board. Whose genius idea was THAT feature?!

I found that there are some exercises that I can do post-surgery. That was a great find! Thanks to Philip Mitri for pointing that out to me. Through my explorations of the software I've found that I really like Stepping, Hula Hooping, Boxing and Kung Fu. When I'm fully healed I plan on doing more of the tougher exercises.

Anyway, between yesterday and today I somehow lost 2lbs. I'm not sure how that happened. I haven't even taken a poop that would explain the weight difference! But, I'll take the 2lbs! It's a start!

I'd like to add that I LOVE the Baby Stats feature on the Wii Fit Plus. I can keep track of V's weight as she grows. Yesterday it said she was 19lbs. Today it says 18. She wasn't wearing clothes for her weigh-in today and was in a fresh diaper, so that may explain the difference. Still, the kid is getting CHUBBY! I love it.

Yesterday I was 156.3lbs. Today I'm 154.3lbs. Keeping it honest. :)

I STILL refuse to buy new pants!

I had my surgery this past Tuesday. They called me on Monday morning to let me know that I'd be having surgery the next day. Nice, huh?

In case any of you reading this don't know why I had the surgery, I'll fill you in:

In October of 2008 I had a medical implant put in my lower back called an InterStim. It's basically a pacemaker that works for my bladder. I have a condition called Interstitial Cystitis; a condition of the bladder that causes chronic pain and frequent urination, amongst other more serious complications. The InterStimn worked wonders for me. Sometime during pregnancy or delivery one of the leads broke, so when I tried to turn it on after pregnancy it wasn't working. A representative from the company ran a diagnostic on the implant and found that one of the leads was broken, but he was able to re-route the stimulation somehow. After a few weeks of trying that we realized that it just wasn't working like it's supposed to. So, I went in for a "Remove and Repair."

Everything went well, aside from the fact we were told AFTER the surgery that I wouldn't be able to lift the baby for 3-4 weeks. I'm sure most people can sympathize with me when it comes to having weight restrictions after certain procedures, but for the momma's out there, you can understand what kind of a dilemma this puts me in. The doctors want me to take it SUPER easy this time since everything was placed in the same place as before, and they want the leads to be able to heal in correctly. These restrictions aren't sitting well with me.

Thankfully I have a friend who has been a great help (thank you, Keegan!) and I certainly couldn't rest at all if it wasn't for Dave and the kids. Things seem to be healing well and my pain is slowly diminishing.

Michigan is now a state that allows the medical use of marijuana, and I'm honestly looking into that as an option when I'm done breast feeding. Being put on Vicodin and Norco again just reminds me how harsh these medications are on the system. If any of my (three!) readers have any experience, or know anyone with personal experience, with medical marijuana, the legalities, any pros or cons please leave me a comment and let me know.

Well, time to end this blog. Dinner won't cook itself!

----------------

Edited to add:

I forgot the point of this blog! I won't be able to use the Wii Fit Plus when it gets here. Not for 2 weeks, at least. That seriously depresses me. I cannot shake the feeling of being huge, and being immobile and on pain killers (which make me crave sweets) isn't helping that depression at all. I realize it's only 2-3 more weeks, but I feel like I could be putting that time to much better use. I am finally motivated to get myself in shape (and yes, round is a shape!) and this is pushing that back. I hate it.

Post-Surgery-kinda-loopy post.

I made it through surgery! Just before going back I went through my standard, "What if I don't make it through? What if I'm paralyzed? What if I can no longer use my left leg? What if I come out of surgery with missing/extra pieces?" Sometimes it amuses Dave, sometimes it doesn't. I got a small smile out of him, at least. Shortly after my rant they came in and gave me the "relaxation" medication. That. Stuff. Is. Fantastic.

The entire thing went well until we were told, AFTERWARD, that I cannot pick up the baby for 3-4 weeks. Um, that's information that would have been useful BEFORE I went into surgery. I have a few friends who came over the first night and spent the night so I could have help my first morning home with the baby after surgery. Today was my second day and Dave set me up in the bedroom with the things I'd need for the baby. We holed up in the bedroom until Dave got home. Thankfully she takes a long morning nap, and I was able to take one right along with her.

Today I sit, leaning to the right, keeping my weight off of my incision. My pain meds are making me a little loopy and slightly nauseous. The kids volley between being uber helpful and pains in the butt; basically just being kids.

Dave, however, has been amazing. I feel awful for everything he's stuck with doing. I hope he realizes that there's really no way I'm going to go 3-4 weeks without picking up the baby, even though the doctor said I should. I don't think I would have consented to the surgery if I knew he'd be stuck with so much responsibility. I feel awful for causing him so much stress. (Outside of the normal stress I cause him, of course.)

I'm going to continue to rest now. The kids are playing old-school video games (Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Super Mario 3) and I'm having fun watching.

I refuse to buy new pants.

It has been 14 weeks and 4 days since I had the baby. I still feel HUGE. I only gained 18lbs during the entire pregnancy, but I started the pregnancy overweight.

In the interest of full disclosure, I started the pregnancy at 160lbs. I am 5 feet 4 inches tall and my ideal weight caps off at 140 or just over, I believe.

I'm not a person who puts a lot of stock into a "standard" image, but I do put plenty of stock into feeling good about myself. I know I'll never have the body back that I had before having kids, and I'm fine with that. I'd just like to get to a weight/shape that makes me comfortable. Not to mention, that allows me to wear my old pants!

This year I am going to try to maintain a more healthy lifestyle. I refuse to "diet" because they always fail. I will commit to portion control and snacking when appropriate. I will also commit to becoming more active. We own an elliptical that I will use more often, and I am going to buy Wii Fit Plus. I've heard good things.

Again, in the interest of full disclosure I will be posting my progress, whether positive or negative, on my blog every Sunday. If anyone would like to be a "weight loss buddy" with me, to share tips and support, please comment on these blogs. I welcome any and all encouragement, and offer the same in return!

When men vacuum, it's sexy.

There are times that I like to feel needed, aside from being held onto for dear life by the baby.

I like my little toilet paper battled with Dave. I'll use the last of it and set the new roll on top just to see if he'll replace it. He'll then use the end of that roll and place another new one on top of the first old one and beside the second. It's a domestic game of chicken, and one that I thoroughly enjoy. I'm also convinced that he puts the toilet paper going UNDER just to watch me grind my teeth. The toilet paper goes OVER, my dear.

I sometimes like finding things left undone around the house. When I complete those tasks I feel accomplished and like I did something that wouldn't have gotten done otherwise. Sometimes that may be true, but sometimes I like to think that people left those tasks for me because they need my help.

Then there's vacuuming.

Mind you, I don't mind vacuuming. In fact, sometimes I enjoy it. It's the perfect OCD task. However, what I really enjoy is watching my husband vacuum. I'm not quite sure why. I find it sexy. I like knowing that I'm not the only one who can and will complete that task. Dave could do the dishes, and that's ok. He can fold laundry and I appreciate it. But when that man vacuums, look out world! Meow!

Not ALL men who vacuum are sexy, mind you. I adore Andy Richter with everything I have, but I don't care to see him pushing a Dirt Devil around my living room.

I am appreciative of my family by, like, a lot. They let me know I'm needed in so many ways, and let me know I'm appreciated in so many others.

There's my Saturday post. :)